ORDINARY PEOPLE

OK SO ITS BEEN LIKE A MONTH & IVE BEEN STUCK ON THIS DAMN CHAPTER BUT IM DONE NOW. I HOPE YOU LIKE. & IF YOU HAVENT HEARD "ORDINARY PEOPLE" BY JOHN LEGEND, IDK WHAT UR DOIN WITH YOUR LIFE. ITS A GREAT SONG. ENJOY!




chapter 49

Nicki woke up with a start. She blinked rapidly to adjust to the bright sunlight. She sat up & yawned as she stretched her muscles. She looked to her right, Drake was gone. She looked to her left, so was Malaki. She took in a deep breath before flopping back on the bed. She heard a light tinkling noise, similar to wind chimes, coming closer to the door. She looked over to see Dricki standing in the doorway. As soon as they made eye contact, he barked loudly & ran downstairs. She listened as his barks faded as he made his way to the kitchen.

“What’s up boy?” It was Drake. “Is mommy awake?” The dog barked excitedly. “You ready to go see mommy?” she could hear Malaki’s soft babbling. “C’mon guys, let’s go.” She could hear them coming to her. Dricki was the 1^st to reach her. He hopped on the bed & licked her face.

“Good morning!” she laughed as she sat up, pushing him away.

“Happy Mother’s day” Drake said as he entered the room. He walked over to her & sat the serving tray he was holding down on her lap. French toast with maple syrup, orange slices, egg whites & bacon. On the side of the tray was a tiny glass vase full of crisp, white daisies. They were so fragrant she didn’t even have to get close to smell them.

“Thank you guys.” She said before cutting into her toast. She moaned slightly as the food hit her tongue. Delicious.

“So, what do you want to do today?” he asked her. She shrugged.

“I can just chill here with you guys.”

“But you do that every day. You don’t wanna get out? Have some time to yourself?”

“I’m fine really.” She told him. Drake shook his head.

It had been almost 2 months since Malaki had come home. He was 5 months old & they had all fallen into a bit of a schedule. Nicki would usually rise with him in the morning. They would both mingle with him throughout the day & Drake would deal with him late at night. In that aspect, everything was going well. The small mountain town began to clear out of tourists as the snow had long melted. Rain had taken its place as shrubs & trees blossomed with new foliage. The lake was becoming a usual picnic spot for them. They sat on the banks of the pristine waters, Drake reciting the works of A.A. Milne as Nicki & Malaki listened. Dricki usually off in the field just beyond the shore. By 2, both Malaki & Dricki would be passed out together on the blanket. Malaki comfortable with his a soft blanket, curled up next to his older brother who always formed a protective semi-circle around him. Once they were out the 4 of them would head home & take a long afternoon nap.

 As Nicki seemed to be seamlessly falling into the role of housewife, Drake was a bit at odds. There was no doubt that he loved his new role as full time father, but he & Nicki had yet to spend more than 45 minutes alone together unless they were sleeping. Even then he could fell a distance between them. He thought it might be selfish to bring it up to Nicki, but it often kept him up nights, wondering why she had been avoiding him. Had he misjudged her? Did she secretly regret what they had together? Did she deep down inside want to leave but felt obligated to stay on Malaki’s behalf? He loved his son more than his own life but he sometimes wondered what would have become of he & Nicki had he not come into their lives. He admitted that he & Nicki had a bit of a whirlwind courtship before breaking up & coming back together. He had always saw Malaki as a reason they could come closer. It hurt him that maybe he was the reason they were drifting apart. They had bouts of bickering that never really went away but subsided because neither of them had the strength or the patience to fight. It usually ended fake apologies that still left tension swirling in the air; it was always over the smallest things. A TV being too loud, laundry not being put away fast enough, rooms not being clean to her satisfaction. It was all so frustrating to him as he never had to live in such a hostile environment. But he was sure that frequent arguments were an everyday occurrence in her childhood. Thinking about her past only made him further believe she was growing tired of him. But due to her witnessing the crumble of her parents’ marriage, she simply gave in, sticking with him for fear that Malaki would grow up in a single parent home like they did. Even with all the bickering, she seemed determined to make it work. She never argued in front of the baby & after each 1, she pretended everything was fine. Like it never happened.

But Drake knew the horrors of such a lifestyle & while he knew that was something he knew he never wanted his son to go through, he remembered what forcing something to work felt like. The awkward tension during Thanksgivings & birthdays when his parents tried to collaborate on his behalf. It never ended well. What furthermore disturbed him was the fact that he wasn’t the only one who knew that feeling. He knew Nicki was struggling with the fact that her parents were still together after her troublesome childhood. The arguing, when whispers turned to screams & sometimes got physical. Years of running from something that always caught up with them eventually. She had told many times about the resentment she still harbored toward her mother for continuously letting her father back into their lives after so many struggles & starting overtime after time because of him. And here she was, following in her footsteps. He wanted her to stop focusing just on Malaki & see the bigger picture; that they needed to love each other, not just their son. That her world didn’t need to always revolve simply around him.

Hey didn’t say much to each other as she ate. They talked sporadically about the weather & what Malaki had done so far during the day.

“That was so good you guys, thank you.” she said after she finished her last piece of bacon. She wiped her mouth & kissed Malaki’s cheek before getting up & heading to her closet.

“Nicki, I really think you should get out today. Go out with your friends.” Drake told her. She turned around slowly, giving him a frustrated look.

“I don’t feel like going out.” She said in a flat tone before turning back around.

“Well I already told Shanell you would go.” He said. Nicki dropped her hand from the shirt she was touching. She did an about face & stomped off toward the bathroom, slamming the door.

Nicki was angry. In fact, angry was an understatement. Ever since the second week that Malaki had been home, Drake had been pressuring her to leave the house & she didn’t understand why. All she wanted to do was spend time with her son. She didn’t need to leave. The only time she ever wanted to was when it had to do with him. What furthermore worried her was leaving him behind. She knew Drake was a good father, but she just couldn’t bring herself to be alright with leaving him in charge. After the night they talked -after his fight with Dennis- she couldn’t shake this feeling that one day, he would follow in his father’s footsteps. Whenever they argued, which was often, he would always end it by saying he needed some space & leave the room. She would eventually climb the steps & find him sitting in Malaki’s room. But she always wondered when the day would come when he would go beyond that room. beyond the front steps. Out into the world, never to return. Which is why she kept him at arm’s length. It was never easy. There were so many nights when he just wanted to fall into his arms. But there was that voice in the back of her mind that spoke to her.

“Don’t trust him. His presence is temporary. The next argument, he may be gone. Forever”

So every waking hour was a continuous internal battle to keep her distance. It was extremely difficult since his kind eyes, inviting smile, soft touch, easygoing nature, all the things that attracted her to him in the 1^st place, were constantly taunting her. Even his smell, fresh laundry with a light hint of cocoa butter & soap, lured her to him. She wanted him. Bad. But there was just no guarantee that he wouldn’t do the 1 thing she feared the most. Leave.

As she stood in the shower, thought about her mother. She finally understood why she always let her father back in. children were such an emotional burden. She thought back on all those time she & Jelani got in trouble. How her mother was the only one there to discipline them. When they got sick, she was the one that took care of them. There was never anyone to help her during those early years. No one to be there for her, emotionally or otherwise. She was always the one carrying the burden. She knew that with Drake, as long as she didn’t push him too far, he would always be there for her if she really needed him. He could read her body language so he was always there to step in when it was too much to handle, without her having to ask for his help. She knew she would never have that with anyone else & she didn’t want to lose it. But she didn’t like that he kept trying to force her to do things she didn’t want to do. She was tempted to go out there & tell him he refused. But Shanell had asked & she would never tell her no. she owed Shanell everything. Had it not been for her make that impossible decision to give Malaki baby Jase’s heart, she didn’t know where she would be.

She took a deep breath before stepping out of the bathroom. They were no longer in her room. She wrapped the towel tightly around herself as she padded down to Malaki’s room. She stood silently in the doorway, watching. Drake was on the floor laying on his stomach. Malaki was on his belly as well, on top of a blue, cloud covered Boppy pillow. His eyes fixed on his father who was in a lowered push-up position.

“C’mon Ki, you can do it! Watch daddy!” He pushed himself up, holding the position. Malaki kicked his legs wildly as he tried to push himself all the way up. His fists were balled up & he was drooling profusely. He straightened his arms, shaky at first, then steady. Drake’s smile was wide as he looked at his son mimicking his position. “Good job man!” Drake exclaimed. He grabbed the child, rolled on his back & lifted him high in the air. He continued to praise the child as he babbled.

All of this they did without any direction from her. And everything was fine. She crept back down to her room. Maybe they would be ok for one afternoon.

“I don’t like any of these.” Nicki said throwing yet another dress on the floor. Drake sat on the bed, Malaki between his legs, beating his tiny fists against his palms as they looked at her.

“Well I think you looked fine in the last 1.” He told her.

“Well the last 1 shows all my fat.” She whined.

“What fat? You look fine.”

“This fat.” She said poking her stomach. It wasn’t exactly flat but she was by no means fat.

“Nicki, that’s not fat. You look healthy. You just had a baby! You can’t expect to just have washboard abs. but I personally like you this way.”

“You're not helping.”

“Just being honest.” He shrugged. She sighed & disappeared back into her closet. Hangers clanked repeatedly & after a few exaggerated sighs, she emerges wearing a white linen dress. It was simple. Low cut, flowy A-line skirt. It tied in the back, accentuating her waist just so. It exposed her cleavage but not too much & the skirt hit just above her knees, making it just long enough. It was perfect. “That’s the one.” He told her.

“I don’t know.” She let her hair down & looked at herself in the mirror. “You sure it looks ok?”

“Yes. You look beautiful.” She turned around again & again, admiring herself from every angle. “Malaki, will you tell your mommy how nice she looks?” he picked up the child & carried him over to Nicki. She half smiled at him.

“Do you think I look pretty pooh bear?” he smiled at her, gums exposed. he reached out, grabbing a lock of her hair, putting it into his mouth.

“See, good enough to eat.” He said laughing. She rolled her eyes as she pulled her hair away from the child & placed a kiss on his tiny forehead.

Drake headed downstairs, allowing Nicki to finish getting ready. She kept her hair & accessories to a minimum. A pair of diamond earrings, her tiffany bracelet-which she had really missed-. A wheat colored bag & white wedge sandals. She threw on some nude gloss & mascara & headed downstairs.

Drake sat on the counter with Malaki & they both watched as Nicki moved around the kitchen frantically, double checking her emergency/ in-case the world ends list.

“Ok so he has plenty of diapers, wipes, ointment. He has clean Playtex bottles & drop in bags. Fresh jammies are on his changing table upstairs. Origel for his mouth, Tylenol for if he starts running a fever. He has his blankie & I just fed him.”

“Alright. Sounds great.” Drake said in a dull tone.

“I wrote down my number & Shanell’s number. My mother’s number is there & Maria’s as well, as well as poison control.

“C’mon now that shit is just insulting.”

“How? She said shocked.

“Nicki, I'm fine. He's fine. I'm not the babysitter. I'm his father. We live here. I don’t need you to lay shit out for me. I'm not stupid.” She sighed.

“I'm sorry. I'm just nervous.”

“Well don’t be. I got it under control. And I’ll have reinforcements.”

“Whaaat?!” just then then, there was a knock at the door. Drake hopped down to answer.

“What’s good man?!” Nicki looked around the corner to see SB standing in the living room.

“What’s up. Hey! There go my nephew! Whut tip lil guy?!” he held the child above his head before bringing him down to kiss his cheek. Anxiety was building inside her. To her, the more people in the house meant the more likely it was that he would get distracted & something could happen to Malaki. Before she could say anything, there was another knock at the door. It was Shanell. She was wearing a cream baby doll dress & chunky natural accessories with brown sandals. She hugged him tightly, kissing his cheek.

“Hey, how you doin?” she said smiling.

“I'm great. How are you? You look beautiful.” He told her. She thanked him. Wayne was behind her, car seat in 1 hand, his older son, Dwayne, in the other. He sat the children down before flashing his infamous smile & embracing Drake. Lastly, Koyoa entered with her husband, Rodney & her 3 sons. The two younger boys looked no older than 5 or 6 & the older boy, Christopher, looked about the same age as Nicki’s younger brother.

Koyoa was looking classic in a white blouse & pencil skirt. A black belt synched her waist just so, exposing her hourglass figure. With both women looking flawless, Nicki began to feel very plain.

She hiked her black & white Versace purse up on her shoulder before pulling Drake into a tight hug.

“Where’s Nicki? She ready yet?” she asked.

“Yeah, she’s in the kitchen.” Koyoa wasted no time crossing the living room & going to the kitchen.

“Hey! How are you? You look beautiful!” she said as she embraced Nicki.

“Hi honey. How are you? I didn’t know you were coming too.”

“Well I told you I couldn’t stay away. And I thought this would be a good way for me to catch up with you guys. You know, let the mens’ take care of the kids while we enjoy ourselves.” Nicki felt like this was a setup & she didn’t like it 1 bit. But she couldn’t back away now.

“Are you guys ready to go?” Shanell asked coming into the kitchen.

“Sure.” She said halfheartedly.

“Alright, let’s get a move on!” The woman made their way to the car. Drake followed them out to the car.

“Have fun. Enjoy yourselves.” He said before kissing each of them on the cheek.

“Remember what I said. My mother should be here soon. And don’t-“

“Nicki. Go. I got it.” he held the door for her as she slipped inside. He closed the door & patted the hood of the Benz before heading back inside.

The entire ride to the restaurant, Nicki was jittery. She could barely keep up with conversation. She spent most of the time switching between looking out the window & checking her phone for missed calls or text messages. All she could think about is if everything was ok at her house. This behavior continued even after they go to the restaurant & placed their orders.

“Nicki!” Shanell called to her.

“I'm sorry, what?” Nicki said looking at her.

“God, I've been calling you for five minutes! What’s wrong with you?”

“I don’t know.” She shrugged.

“Nicki, the baby is fine. Don’t worry.” Koyoa told her.

“What? What do you mean?”

“Baby, I know that look anywhere. First time leavin the baby at home is always the hardest. But trust me, everything will be fine.” She listened to what Koyoa said but it really didn’t help her. Nothing would help but getting back to her baby. She was silent through their meal & all but ran to their car when it was time to leave. On the way back to the house, she tried Drake’s cell. When he didn’t answer, her heart started racing. The worst case scenarios were running through her mind now. As soon as they pulled up to the house, she hopped out & bolted to the door.

The living room was loud. Kids running & playing, the TV was loud, a shooting game was on, Rodney & Wayne were playing it. She spotted her brother & Koyoa’s oldest son in the corner, on a laptop. She saw almost everyone except the people she was most anxious to see.

“What the hell is goin’ on?!” Nicki said. She headed toward the kitchen where her mother was sitting with the baby, trying to soothe him. She rushed over, scooping him up in her arms. “Where is Aubrey?” before her mother could answer, Drake emerged from the backyard.

“Hey ba-“

“What the hell are you doing?! You couldn’t hear ya son crying!!?!?!?!?!” she yelled.

“Nicki, I was just,”

“And why are all these people in my house & you outside?!?!” the house had grown considerably quite. Nicki stood in front of him, rocking the screaming child, staring at Drake, when a soft “ding” sounded behind her. He pushed past her to the stove where he pulled a glass bottle from a boiling pot of water. He poured the contents of the glass bottle into a Playtex bottle, screwing the nipple on it & giving it a shake before shoving it into Nicki’s free hand.

“I’ll be outside.” He said in a low tone before walking back out the back door.

 She stood there for a moment, willing him to come back inside & apologize to her, but he didn’t. She went upstairs to Malaki’s room. She sat, quite, as she fed her son. it was about 8:30when he was full & asleep in his bed, she went to her room to change. She was just coming out of the bathroom when she bumped into her mother.

“Oh, hi mommy.” She said in a low tone.

“Come talk to me.” She said in a way that let Nicki know this was not a request, but a demand. She followed her mother downstairs to the kitchen. She sat at the island as her mother moved around, fixing her a plate of food. “Eat.” She said as she sat the plate down in front of her daughter. Nicki reluctantly picked up her fork as she began to pick at her food. For a while, nothing could be heard throughout the house except the scraping of Nicki’s fork across her plate & the hum of the central air system. Carol poured herself a cup of coffee before standing across the breakfast bar, facing Nicki. “What were you thinking today? Huh? What was going through your mind?”

“What do you-“ Carol held her hand up, silencing her.

“What you did today was out of line. Completely disrespectful. Embarrassing him in front of company? I taught you better than that!”

“I didn’t mean to but, I just get so scared.”

“I know you worry about the baby. But you need to realize, Aubrey knows what he's doing. He's a good man. A good father. You have to trust him. This is a partnership. You have to work together.”

The last part of what her mother said really resonated with her. Team work was something she wasn’t used to. In her life it has always been either or. The thought of sharing her power scared her. But she loved Drake & really did want their relationship to work out, so she knew she would have to try. She got up from the stood & smoothed her shirt.

“You're right. I should go find him.”

“He’s outback.” Her mother told her. She took a deep cleansing breath before heading out the back door. He was sitting by the pool in an Adirondack chair, facing the woods just beyond their back yard. He looked up at her as she stood next to him.

“Hi.” She said softly. He paused a moment before replying.

“Hey.” His response was monotone, unemotional.

“Aubrey,” she began, “I know what I did was wrong & I know you're probably still mad, but I really am sorry. I'm not really used to this whole…” she made a swirling motion with her hands, “co-parenting thing. I didn’t mean to disrespect or belittle you like that. I love you. I hope you know that.” It was silent for a while. The wind swept over the trees, making them sway softly in the breeze. Almost 5 minutes had massed & Drake still hadn’t said anything. She turned around ready to head back to the house when grabbed her hand.

“Come here.” He told her. She turned back around & sat on his lap, her head to his chest. He put his mouth to her hair, breathing her in. “I forgive you. But I'm still mad. I wasn’t so mad that you that you embarrassed me. It was more that you don’t believe in me.”

“I do believe in you.”

“Do you really? Ever since Malaki’s come home you’ve treated me like I'm incapable of taking care of him on my own. I know I don’t do everything right all the time like you but you treat me like nothing I do is good enough for you & I hate that. It makes me wonder if this relationship is gonna work. I don’t know if it’s just me & I'm overthinking this, but I just………I want things to be the way they used to be. I mean I know some things will never be the same but I just want you to be happy again cuz you're never happy.”

“Baby, I am happy I just,” she wanted to tell him everything, lay all her burdens out for him, but she just couldn’t. Not only did she not want him to think she was crazy, but she didn’t want to be vulnerable. She didn’t want to show him that in reality, she didn’t have it all figured out. She was just as lost as he was. She smothed the side of his face before she spoke again. “After the way he came into the world, I guess I just want everything to be done…right. If that makes sense. I just don’t want anything to happen to him. So I'm sorry if I overreact a little.”

“A little?” he scoffed. She rolled her eyes.

“Ok, a lot. But it’s not because I don’t trust you. You’re an amazing father. But you gotta cut me some slack here. I'm a mom, we do this. I'm sure your mom would agree.”

“She would. But you gotta stop treatin me like I'm completely incompetent. And if something is bothering you baby, talk to me. I know this has been building up for a while. Just remember I'm not just Malaki’s dad, I'm here for you too.” He lifted her chin & kissed her lips. They pulled away & smiled at each other.

“hey,” she said, “ what were you outside for today anyway?” Drake laughed.

“Well, Uncle SB was trying, very bravely, to change a diaper. But things got……..messy”

“Awwww, he peed on him?”

“Worse.” Nicki’s eyes got wide.

“Nooooo!” she gasped.

“Yup. Shitted on em.”

“That’s so gross.”

“But it was so funny, though.” They sat outside, talking more. About everything. About nothing. About anything, until the sun came up.