chapter 54
The sun bathed their naked bodies in a golden glow. Gulls cried over head & the waves washed up, tickling their toes. His arms were wrapped loosely around her sleeping frame that was stretched on top of him. Her hair, a mess of curls, shielded their faces from the light. She stirred gently causing him to open his eyes. He was instantly blinded by the sun. He moved his hand down to her plump backside & squeezed. She moaned as she playfully slapped his face.
“Ouch!” he laughed.
“Let me sleep.” She groaned.
“I would love to. But I think if people came out here & saw you naked, it might me a problem.” Nicki gasped as she jolted up & ran her hands over her bare chest. She hopped off his lap & crawled over to way her bathing suit lay in the sand & quickly put it on.
“I can’t believe we were out here all night!” she said as she struggled to tie the top of the suit. Drake sat up & moved over to her, pulling the string from her hands.
“Best night of my life.” He said to her. She turned her head & smile before kissing him.
“I'm gonna go check on Ki.” She got to her feet & flashed him before running to the house. He laid back on the sand & sighed contently. He laid there for a moment before snagging his shorts, putting them on & heading inside. When he reached the house, he heard his mother, carol & Nicki talking.
“But he seems fine, mom.” She sighed as she looked down at their son who was playing with blocks on the floor.
“I know but I can’t help how I feel. Just make sure to keep an eye on him.” Carol said to her daughter. Nicki looked down at Malaki for a second longer, tapping her foot. Drake could tell by her body language that whatever her mother had said to her was really getting to her.
“I'm gonna go finish packing. Can you keep an eye on him until I'm done?” she asked her mother before heading up the stairs. Drake called after her as he followed.
“Hey, hey what’s wrong?” he's asked her as he closed the door behind him.
“Nothing.” Nicki said as she lugged her suitcase onto the bed.
“It’s something baby, talk to me.” he said as he placed his hands on her arms.
“I said I'm fine.” She snapped. “Just leave it alone, please?” he let his hands drop to his sides & walked out of the room. He was sad, to say the least. He thought after last night, they had really made that connection again. But he could tell that her walls were slowly going back up & he didn’t like it. they didn’t talk for the rest of their stay in Trinidad. After they arrived back home, Nicki fell right back in to the routine, as if they had never even left. After 5 days of being ignored, Drake had almost reached his breaking point. He was so angry that every time he wanted to discuss what his feelings, she brushed him off. He needed a moment to get his thought together & think before he talked to her so he wouldn’t flip out on her. He went outback & sat. As he stared into the forest, he couldn’t help but replay the conversation he had with his father over in his mind. Is this what he really wanted? Was he really happy living his life this way? He pulled out his black berry & scrolled through the gallery. He looked at picture after picture of her from the week before. She was so happy, so care free. When they were together like that, everything just felt so right. He didn’t want to go back to living half of a life. He didn’t want to hide or subdue his feelings for her. He wanted to love her completely. That was 1 of the reasons why he wanted to be with her. He knew she was broken, knew she was hurting. All he wanted to do was give her all of the love he had inside of him. But was being with her really worth sacrificing his happiness? Before, there was absolutely no question in his mind. But now, he wasn’t so sure. The answer wasn’t that simple anymore.
He really felt like she felt the same way he did. She had to. But for some reason, she tried to block it out. But while they were away in Trinidad, she couldn’t keep it bottled up anymore. That was how she truly felt, the real her. He had to figure out a way to bring that back out of her. He kept trying to go over ways to do this but nothing seemed right. He thought long into the night. Long after the sun had set & the animals had settled. He didn’t even notice the cold from the snow that fell on him. Wind whistled its way through the trees, owls hooted & the small stream could be heard in the distance. He took a look at his blackberry. It was 9:17. It had been almost 5 hours & she didn’t look for him once. It was as if she didn’t even notice his absence from the house, from her life. With a heavy heart, he stood up & made his way back inside.
“But Nicki, I really do think something bad will happen. I can’t explain it.” Carol said pleading. Nicki rolled her eyes as he switched the phone to her other ear.
“Ma, everything is fine. He's not even running a fever. He's not cranky or anything. He was fussy a few days ago when we got home, but it was probably because of the plane. He's ok I promise.” She walked over to the crib & peeked down at her sleeping son.
“No, no, something is wrong, I can feel it. Nicki, don’t ignore this.” Insisted Carol. Nicki rolled her eyes.
“If it makes you feel better, I’ll call & make him an appointment tomorrow, ok?”
“Yes, please.” Said Carol.
“Ok. Now I gotta go. I’ll call you later. I love you.” Nicki said before hanging up. She headed out the room & down the hall when she bumped into Drake.
“Sorry.” she said trying to move past him. He grabbed her hand.
“Nicki I need to talk to you.” he said to her in a serious tone.
“Not right now, ok? I'm tired & I just wanna get in the shower & go to bed. Let’s do this tomorrow.”
“It can’t wait until tomorrow.”
“Look, Drake. I really don’t wanna fight with you about this. Its 1 day. You can wait just 1 fucking day?” She snapped.
“It’s not about 1 fucking day Nicki. This is important to me. I need to get this off my chest.”
“Well I'm sure if it’s that important, it will be JUST as important tomorrow.” Drake hung his head as he bit his bottom lip, holding back if anger.
“You know what? You’re right.” He kissed her cheek before letting go of her hand. “I’ll see you in the morning he said as he walked down the steps.
“Where are you going?” she said leaning over the banister.
“Out.” Was all he offered before walking out the door & slamming it? He got in his car & drove off. He headed down the mountain path to the highway. Before he knew it, he was in the city. He cruised the dark streets of the city with no particular destination, an instrumental version of “Successful” playing, putting him in a mood. He hit an ATM & withdrew a few thousand dollars & drove around some more until he found what he was looking for. He parked his car & shrugged on his OVO jacket before heading inside. He paid his cover & made his way to an abandoned table near the far end of the club by the main stage. “Marvin Gaye & Chardonnay” blared through the speakers. The lights were low & the women prevalent throughout the space. They all turned their heads as he walked past them, batting their mascara covered eyelashes at him.
As soon as he took his seat, a waitress with succulent breasts was at his side. She leaned in close to him, her blood red lipstick nearly smearing on his earlobe.
“Want me to get you something, daddy?”
He ordered 2 bottles of Ace of Spades before sending her on her way. He surveyed the room of scantily clad women & found none of them distinguishingly attractive. He nonchalantly threw 20 dollar bills on the stage as 2 girl put on a show. They were more into themselves than the men around them that hooped & hollered as a pale skinned ginger with freckles & cat like green eyes grinded over another woman with tanned skin & jet black hair before planting her face between her legs. None of this was particularly arousing but this was a place that was familiar to him. a place he knew well & what to expect. His bottles came & he began to drink. As the cool liquid flowed through him, he began to loosen up, mildly chatting with the dancers as they came to him, offering dances & singing his praises.
Time passed & more bottles came. He had been there 2 hours & had spent over half of his money but he was partially enjoying himself. But when he declined the 6th offer to hear a mixtape from an up & coming rapper, he decided it was time for a private room. a hostess led him to a room draped & expensive white linen. He took a seat in a large throne like chair in front of a long Plexiglas stage. Long couches were set on either side of the room in a royal purple suede. There were 4 women in the room with him. There were 2 on either side of him, chatting him up as the remaining 2 were putting on a show in the stage to Big Sean’s “A$$”. As charming as these women were & as much as he enjoyed the way they jiggled they ample backsides, he was growing tired. He was awaiting his final round of drinks when the lights got dim. The stage was illuminated by deep blue & purple lights. A guitar riff that he knew all too well began & from behind the sheer curtains on the stage emerged 1 woman. Her hair was as black as raven feathers as it flowed over her shoulders & down her back. Her skin like gold. She was petite but voluptuous in all the right places. She strutted to the pole in her sexy lingerie & turned away from him, giving a good view of her backside. When the drums hit, she squatted down before standing back up slowly & moving seductively to Able’s voice.
“I left my girl back home, I don't love her no more
And she'll never fucking know that, these fucking eyes that I'm staring at
Let me see that ass, look at all this cash
And I've emptied out my cards too
Now I'm fucking leaning on that”
And she'll never fucking know that, these fucking eyes that I'm staring at
Let me see that ass, look at all this cash
And I've emptied out my cards too
Now I'm fucking leaning on that”
She swirled & twirled on the pole as Drake watched. He was hypnotized. Not only by her dancing & how beautiful she was, but by how similar she looked to the woman his heart was pining for. From her hairstyle to her lips to her deep chocolate eyes. With his eyes on her, Drake couldn’t stop thinking about Nicki. He wanted her. And it was evident in this woman’s eyes that she wanted him. This is why he came here. This was the feeling he was searching for. He felt like aside from their vacation, it had been so long since he felt wanted & he missed that.
She slid down the pole & got on her hands & knees, crawling over to him slowly before blowing him a kiss. She turned around & slid off the stage into his lap, grinding on him. He tried as hard as he could not to be aroused but he was a man. Within moments, he was at attention.
“What are you doing?” he groaned, more to himself than to her.
“You looked like you needed some…special attention.” She said in a sultry tone. Drake threw his head back, sighing heavily with his eyes closed. She even sounded like her. He had to leave soon before he did something he would regret.
“I……I’m not single. I have a girlfriend.”
“Really?” she asked as she stood up. He exhaled heavily.
“Yes.” He said confidently.
“You love her?” she asked as she walked around behind him.
“Very much.” He told her. The woman bent over him, sliding her hands down his chest to his stiff manhood. He hissed slowly. She leaned in close to his ear.
“So why are you here with me?” she asked. That was a question he didn’t want to answer. He knew he loved Nicki but he was desperately craving attention. He knew that it was petty & he didn’t want to hurt Nicki but as this woman ran her hands over his body & kissed his neck sweetly, the harder it was to do the right thing & walk away.
“I don’t wanna hurt her.” He said, eyes closed.
“I won’t tell.” She cooed. She walked around him & straddled his lap. She took is hands & planted them on her wide hips & she grinded on him. “I can make you feel sooooooo good baby. Let’s get out of here. Let Chyna take care of you.” Drake began playing the past year of their relationship back in his head. So many fights. So many hurt feelings. he was so tired of struggling to fit into her life. He knew that even though all this woman wanted was his money, she would make him feel like a king. She would obey his every command. He sucked in a breath as the woman slid down to her knees in front of him. He would be lying if he said that this wasn’t what he wanted. But he just couldn’t shake the fact that he felt like this was wrong. Whenever he tried to just focus on the situation he was in currently, Nicki popped into his mind. Her smiling face, the smell of her hair, the sound of her laugh. That was who he wanted & no amount of sex & persuasion would change that. As soon as that realization came to him, he knew it was time to go.
“No, I have to go.” He said, shaking his head.
“No you don’t.” the woman said. She smiled as she reached up to unzip his jeans.
“No.” he said sternly as he shoved her back, making her land on her ass.
“WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!” she screamed as he got up. He zipped up his pants & made his way out of the club. He hopped back into his car & headed north to Manhattan. When he reached the hotel & paid for his room, he wasted no time going upstairs. He was fuming. He could have just made one of the biggest mistakes of his life. How could he have been so stupid? He paced the room angrily. He was so angry & disappointed in himself for almost giving into temptation. He walked into the bathroom & splashed some water on his face. He looked at himself as the water dripped from his skin & was disgusted. He hated himself so much he punched his reflection, causing the glass to shatter into a thousand pieces around him. He cursed as he pulled the shards from his fist & wrapped a towel around his bleeding knuckles. He walked out of the bathroom & back into the suite, plopping down on the bed. He let his body fall back on the mattress & tears of frustration fell until he was asleep.
The next morning, he got up & headed straight home. There was so many things he wanted to say to Nicki & it couldn’t wait any longer. He made it home in record time. When he reached the house he pulled his Blackberry from his pocket. It was 6: 13. Once he got out he walked up the path, took his key from the pocket of his coat & unlocked the door. He shrugged off his coat & hung it in the closet before walking past Nicki who was sitting on the couch across the room holding their son. She followed him quietly up the stairs & laid the child down in his crib before calling out to Drake.
“Aubrey.” She said softly, closing the door behind her once she was in the room. Drake was on the other side of the room, staring out the window. She walked over to him & placed a hand on his shoulder. “Aubrey.” She said again.
“Do you love me?” he asked bluntly. Nicki was taken aback by his question.
“What?” she asked. He turned around to face her.
“Do you love me?”
“Drake…”
“Just answer the question, Nicki.”
“Of course I love you, what’s the matter with you?”
“Do you care about me? Do you want me here? Are you still in love with me?”
“Where is all this coming from?”
“Just, please, answer me.” he said, his voice pleading with her.
“Aubrey, you know the answer to all these questions. What’s going on?”
“No, see, that’s where you're wrong. I don’t know. I don’t know how you feel at all.”
“How can you even say that?!”
“Because you keep pushing me away!!! I don’t know if you're doin that shit intentionally or not. But I don’t like it. For the past year, you’ve just been different. I can’t kiss you, or hug you, or tell you how much I love you, without you withdrawing from me. So I need to know. Are you still in love with me?” he stared deep into her eyes, searching for the answer. Nicki huffed & rolled her eyes.
“Of course I love you! I don’t know where this is coming from but I wish you would stop.” She said frustrated.
“No, no…” he said grabbing her chin. “Look at me & say it.” she pushed his hand away.
“Drake, stop it!”
“Say it!”
“I just DID!”
“Say the WORDS Onika!!!”
“What is wrong with you?!?!” she shouted angrily. He sighed heavily as he looked down.
“What’s wrong with me is that you can’t even say you're still in love with me. What’s WRONG with me is that you're being unfair & toying with my emotions. What’s wrong with me is that this isn’t working. Something’s gotta give man.”
“What do you mean?! I thought everything was fine?!”
“NO! It’s not fine. And the fact that you think it is further lets me know that you pay no attention to me whatsoever. Cuz if you did, you would know I'm not ok with this.”
“Aubrey, I do pay attention to you.”
“So you just don’t care?”
“I DO care. It’s just…”
“What?”
“I don’t SEE what you're talking about. I don’t see anything wrong.”
“You can’t look me in my eyes & tell that it’s hard for me to breathe when I'm around you? That my heart beats faster when you're near me? That it takes everything in me to restrain myself whenever I wanna kiss you or hug you or hold you or tell you I love you?! Don’t you want that, Nicki? For me to love you?”
“I do.”
“So why do you make me hide it? Why are you making me suppress my true feelings for you? Isn’t that part of the reason why you loved me in the 1st place?! Because no matter what ANYONE said, I would always love you.”
“Yes, that is…”
“So then why? WHY do you want me to stop? Don’t you miss it? The time we spent together? All the things we did together? Don’t you want that back?”
Nicki turned away from him, facing the bathroom doorway. She looked in the mirror & caught a glimpse of her eyes. They were beginning to water. She swiped at them quickly. Confusion & frustration was taking over. She didn’t know what to do.
“Aubrey,” she began “it’s not that I don’t love you. Really. But it’s just so hard to open all the way back up to you. We can’t deny that having Malaki has changed the both of us. I just need to prepare myself for what may happen in the future. Things could change. We may not stay the way we are.” Drake squinted his eyes at her.
“Are you fucking KIDDING me?! You think I'm gonna leave so you push me AWAY?! Come OFF that shit! After everything. After ALL THE SHIT WE BEEN THROUGH, you STILL think I'm gonna leave?!?!!?!?”
“I don’t KNOW Aubrey! That’s why I feel like this. Who knows what might happen a year, 2 years from now!? I mean, it’s not like either 1 of us has had the best male role models. Can you blame me for being scared?! If you decide to leave tomorrow, what would I do? No, I'm not gonna get caught out there like that again. Too many people have walked in & out of my life. I'm not gonna allow myself to get hurt like that again.”
“Man, MISS me with all that shit! You KNOW I'm not goin nowhere. If I was, I woulda BEEN gone. It took me forever to get you. Then when I got you, I had to jump through HOOPS to keep you. And when I did lose you, it almost killed me. I had to do everything in my power to get you back. I've given you love, affection, a home, a son, EVERYTHING! I've shown you on COUNTLESS occasions how much I respect your mind & body. Do you know how HARD it is for a nigga of my caliber to go SIX MONTHS without sex!?! But I did it cuz it was ALWAYS about more than that with you. Hell, the fact that I'm still here after MONTHS of you ignoring & neglecting me should prove I'm not going anywhere. I'm here with you every day, by your side, making excuses for you, defending you to our friends & family when they say I shoulda BEEN left you. But I didn’t. I'm not. I'm still here. What more do a nigga gotta do?!”
“I don’t know.” she whispered. She smoothed her hair back as she flopped down on the bed. “I'm just so confused. I wanna believe you're no gonna leave but something inside me is telling me I need to be cautious. So I keep my distance. Because if you DO leave, I need to be strong for Malaki.”
“That’s another thing. He's OUR son. I want what’s best for him just like you do. Yet you act like you're his only parent. I really hate that.”
“Well how am I supposed to act? I'm his mother.”
“And I'm his FATHER! Stop being so self-centered.”
“Self-CENTERED?!”
“Yes! Act like you know there’s other people in the world besides you & Malaki because right now, that’s all you see. Don’t you think he deserves 2 parents that love each other? To have the 2 people responsible for his creation under the same roof, raising him to be a respectable young man! C’mon Nic, we both come from broken homes. Do you really think what’s best for him is weekends in Toronto & 45 minute phone conversations every Tuesday? Every other holiday with you? Why should we put him through that when you could just let me love you & you love me back we can be happy?! Because I know it’s there, baby.” he got on his knees before her & gently touched her face. “I know you want us to be happy.” Nicki closed her eyes, putting her hand over his as she leaned into him, feeling the warmth of skin. She let his fingers linger on her face for a second later before reluctantly pulling away.
“I don’t mean to hurt you. But I just can’t. I need more time.”
“No you DON’T! This is what KILLS me about you! Stop trying to make yourself numb! I'm NOT GOING TO HURT YOU! You know this! Just let me love you.”
“I'm not ready.”
“Then what about Trinidad?” he said with a touch of anger in his voice.
“Look, what happened in Trinidad was amazing. But I was just caught up in the moment. That was it. That wasn’t real life.”
“Not real LIFE?! What does that even MEAN?!”
“I DON’T KNOW! Everything just happened so fast. None of this seems real to me! This just wasn’t supposed to happen like this.”
“What?”
“You, me, Malaki, any of it. It was all just a mistake.”
“A MISTAKE?!?!?!?!”
“YES! No! I mean…”
“No. Don’t even explain. You’ve said enough.”
“Drake, you know I didn’t mean it like that.”
“But you SAID it.” he spat.
“It wasn’t supposed to come out like that.”
“Don’t try to fix it now. Actually I'm glad you told me the truth. Everything makes sense this way. I should’ve listened when everyone said you wouldn’t love me. You dated me out of pity. Then you stayed with me because you didn’t wanna be my ‘baby momma’ & I respect that. You didn’t wanna be the bad guy. Now you don’t have to. But I tell you what…” he stood up & began clapping. “You're 1 hell of an actress. Oscar bound for sure. Because NOBODY has EVER pretended to love me & made me believe it so much.” Nicki got up & walked over to him, grabbing his arm.
“I didn’t mean that. I just did see my life going this way!” he yanked himself away from her.
“YOUTHINK I DID?!?! YOU THINK I WANTED IT TO BE THIS WAY?! TO BE WITH SOMEONE WHO PRETENDS TO HATE ME WHEN ALL I EVER DO IS SHOWER HER WITH LOVE?! TO BE HERE, AWAY FROM MY HOME & EVERYTHING I LOVE, UNMARRIED WITH A BABY AT 26 FUCKING YEARS OLD?! YES, this is my PERFECT fucking life, Onika.”
“I just don’t know how to say what I need to right now & you're NOT making this any easier.”
“Well let me make it simple for you. Do you regret being with me?”
“I don’t know.”
“Do you regret that I'm Malaki’s father?”
“I don’t know.”
“Well what the fuck do you know?!”
“I know that I love my son.”
“Really? Out of ALL the things you should be sure of, that’s the only thing? That Malaki is the center of your universe. Wow, that’s a surprise.” He said sarcastically.
“So you're making this about our son?”
“NO! I'm making this about YOU & you inability to let go. You keep trying to compare me when I'm so perpendicular to every other male you’ve had in your life. You wanna keep putting me in this box with them when I don’t BELONG there. I do any & everything for you & I've SHOWN you that. But it’s not enough. It’s never gonna be enough for you. And I have nothing left to give, so you win.” He was finally defeated. He couldn’t keep pleading is case anymore. He ran his hands over his face. Nicki felt like her heart stopped. She didn’t believe what she was hearing. He couldn’t be serious.
“What does that mean?” she asked.
“You want me to go, I'm going. You keep PUSHING ME AWAY, I get it. There’s nothing more I can do to show you that I'm here for you. You don’t want this, ok. And I'm not gonna force it cuz then we’ll just resent each other. I wanna maintain some type of relationship, for the baby’s sake.” He looked at her with watery eyes. “I swear to GOD Nicki, I love you so much. I just wish my love was enough.”
He wasted no time heading to the closet & stuffing a few of his belongings into a duffle. Nicki felt an incredible sadness wash over her. But she didn’t want to show how much this was hurting her. This was her worst fear coming to fruition. She had to put on a brave face.
“Fine nigga, you wanna go, go.”
“I am.” He said somberly.
“That’s all you niggas ever do is leave anyway. It was only a matter of time.”
“Yup, you right Nic. You're always right.” She didn’t like that he wasn’t putting up more of a fight. She only had seconds before she reached the point of a complete meltdown.
“Just hurry up & get the fuck out.” She spat.
“Imma just tell my son I love him & then I'm gone.” he pushed past her down the hall to Malaki’s room, his heart heavy. He took his time walking over to the crib. Of this entire experience, this was the hardest part. He didn’t want to leave Malaki but he knew taking him would tear Nicki to pieces. He kicked himself internally for not being able to stop putting her feelings before his own even now when they were at the end of their relationship. He pulled back the cover & picked the boy up. But something was off. He didn’t stir in the slightest when he moved him. He pulled the child back & yelled.
“NICKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” she raced down to him.
“What is it?!” she said, panicked. Drake was laying the child on the floor & breathing into his mouth.
“CALL 911!!!!!! HE'S NOT BREATHING!!!” He compressed Malaki’s chest lightly. She shakily dialed the number to the emergency dispatch.
Operator: 911 what’s your emergency?
Nicki: MY BABY! HE’S NOT BREATHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
& p.s. even tho hes not real (yet) happy birthday to malaki! trillest baby ever. lmaoooo!!!!
& p.s. even tho hes not real (yet) happy birthday to malaki! trillest baby ever. lmaoooo!!!!
Noooooooooo I don't want them to separate I hate that nicki is being selfish and ignoring drake to the point where he just wanted to pick up and leave. Why can't she just let down her guard now she did it before Now I understand what the dream meant she was so blinded and he was trying to get her attention they couldn't protect malaki it's sad that but I hope Ki is ok :
ReplyDelete- LeahhMinaj
Omg! i Frekin Loved this chapter one of the best ever!(: Nd maybe its just best fer them to take a break nd see how they realli feel for eachother cause nicki needs to see what she missinq nd all that hes doing for her And maybe they need time apart. Nd i was wonderinq when your gonna post for Dricki Blog! Cause i realli love story!! Soo please posst soon on this story and dricki Blog!! :D nd i hope Malakis okaaii!!! ):
ReplyDeleteHappy birthdaaaaaay!!!
ReplyDeleteUm ok nice way to wake up; naked and on a beach. But what if a seagull would've landed on their asses? *shivers* that's some scary shit to think about. Carol is worrying the mess out of Nicki but it's all for good reason. I can't even get mad at Drake for leaving and going to the club because she pushed him to leave and heultimately didn't do anying to disrespect Nicki. But not gonna lie, parts of their argument had me DYING!!!! Like what more do a nigga gotta do?! What DO you know?! Nicki is stupid for still trying to put Drake in th same box as the other males in her life and she must want him to do her wrong cause she keeps pushing him towards it. Out of all the love and hardships and just plain persistency of Drake to do right by her and she still can't appreciate it makes me just wanna cuss her out. And she's not ki's only parent and she needs to cut that out. Nicki you wanna be strong for your son? Then show him that it's ok to love someone with your entire being! Because t's way harder to blindly put ur trust in someone than to shield urself. You don't want him to leave but you still didn't stop him, and he really was and u wanted him to fight back against what you were saying but he wasn't so you felt some kind of way. And look at what y'all done did!!!!!!!! Malaki isn't fucking breathing thanks to y'all dumbasses!!!(and something else that I can't say yet) all y'all had to do was make up and this prince of egypt type shit wouldn't have happened!!!! God damn I wanna punch y'all in y'all throats! Smh that poor baby though :( "it has to get worse before it gets better"
I loved the fighting(idk why I do but I did)and I generally loved the entire chapter-Kendall
:O OMFG WTF NO! LIKE NO NO NOOOOOOOOOO! OMG NO! NOT MY KI?! WTF KOY?!!!! OMG OMG OHMYFUCKINGGOODNESS LIKE NO! >:{ WHY?! *calms down*
ReplyDeleteOkay 1st things 1st HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU. HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR KOYYYYYY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!! 2nd HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO KI. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO KI. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MALAKIIIIII HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO KI!!!! Okay enough with the happy sh*t I'm pissed! >:[ But I'm going to start from the beginning....
1: I knew by this title this wasn't going to be a happy ending. Then I play the song & sure nuff it's Tank fine azz 2: Awww they fell asleep right there..how cute! :) LOL @ Nicki slapping Drake all in the face. 3: Oh shit here we go..Carol has her feeling again. The 1st sign from the "interlude" you posted. Smh 4: See how Carol was talking to her & Nicki looking at him like that, she automatically went into protective mama mode so it was "fuck a Drake" time :[ The wall is back up & time to focus on Ki! 2nd sign from the "interlude" 5: Aw damn see there it is..5 days of NOT talking..smh 6: Smh my poor Drizzy..Idek what to tell him. I feel so bad for him. 7: See here Carol goes again with this. WTF is wrong with Ki? Like she's freakin me out! Hell she's freakin Nicki out too! Got that girl stressin & she don't even see what her mom is talking about :( 8: Now she snapping at Drake & his azz don't know what's going on b/c she won't talk to him. She acting like she's the only parent..like yo WTF?! 9: Here he goes with this "out" sh*t again..like they should seriously be tired of this game. But I understand b/c I know he has to keep his self from flipping out on her. I just hate that her let's her liddo azz control this relationship. Like f*ck what she going thru but he's azz so nice he just let's her..like yo WTF?! 10: Strip club? Really Drake? Then again this is Drake so..yeah I knew it was Chyna b/c she's the only 1 who looks a lil like Nic. This is NOT good! -__- 11: I'ma just SMH on this one. 12: WOW she couldn't even say that she loved him. Like WOW..that's effed up! 13: Smh..Nicki can't see anything wrong b/c she's use to this & she's focused on Ki. All these damn signs from that "interlude" is all up in this chapter! Yo WTF Koy?! 14: :0 So now they're a mistake? WOW....this is all too crazy! 15: She DON'T KNOW?! OMFG LIKE WTF?!!! She do know! Like wtf is wrong with her?! 16: I'm going to cry. Like this can't be happening! :''''(((((( 17: Here she goes with that "all niggas" crap..like stfu Nicki. She wants him to fight back but he's tired of fighting her. She needs to wake the fuck up out of this fantasy world..like...smh..idk 18: *tears* Like this can't be happening. NOT MY KI :'{ Like why? Why did that dream have to come true. Why? WHY would you do this on ya b-day? On MALAKI'S B-DAY?! -____________________________- I'm so fucking sad right now, but I must say this chapter was AMAZING likeeeee AH MAZ ZING! lol This is why you're one of my faves. I'm emotional right now so I'ma stop writing b/c I know this is long & I will NOT erase this one! Idc idc idc! Okay I'm done! Can't wait to read all these other stories you have :)
OMG ok the beginning was what i was waiting for cus i havent read that yet but i got so sad at the end when i saw there wasnt anything left!!
ReplyDeleteMy poor Drake. Like i said...im sooooooo happy he said all that and im so happy he left. I know that sounds weird but thats what he needed to do and say. Im glad nickis hearing all that cus she was being sooo selfish and dumb :|
Im not even gonna touch on the Ki subject cus i...i cant say...grr...yeah idk.
Puff
OOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMGGGGGGGG! MY KI! MY KI! LORD PLEASE SAVE MY BABY!!! OMG!!! and about damn time he blew up!!1 iwas waiting for this chapter for a whole year *story years* like seriously! *standing ovation* I LOVE YOU KOY!! Happy birthday boo! you and Rod play nice! :)
ReplyDeleteFirst & foremost HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!
ReplyDeleteNow onto the chapter
:OOOO OMG. I don't even know where to start. But the fact that her whole mood shifted once her mother told her about how she was feeling was crazy. I thought her & Drake was gonna be on good terms after there little vacation but Nicki let her emotions get the best of her. & when Drake went to the strip club I thought he was going to do something stupid but I know he loves Nicki too much to hurt her like that. And that fight was crazy. Nicki is being blind to what is right in front of her. Does she not understand that Drake loves her? That he wants what's best for Malaki too? She can't just push him away because she's afraid he's going to leave, that doesnt even make sense. & my poor Malaki I hope he's okay cuz I know that crazy bitch Maliah is behind this. Maybe this will open up Nicki & Drake's eyes & hopefully they need to work this out. Amazing chapter. Post soon :) -@TEAMinajNYC
Okay I love Nicki with all my heart & soul, but I really wanna slap some sense into her right now. She keeps pushing Aubrey away, and now she's finally pushed him to the edge. Why can't she see that Aubrey is there for the long run (well he was). I hate that she's acting like she's Ki's only parent. Like Aubrey wasn't there for her through everything. I'm seriously annoyed with Nicki. She's acting like Aubrey didn't spend forever breaking down those walls of hers. Really, she is just looking for every excuse in the book to not open up to him. FFS she's being so damn stubborn, she doesn't want him to leave yet she isn't stopping him. What's up with that front??? I hope she realizes trying to be strong is only gonna hurt her even more. When will she realize that Aubrey isn't the enemy?!
ReplyDelete& Aubrey, I'm not impressed with you either, drinking your problems away won't solve them. & I was gonna kill you with my bare hands if you gave into Chyna. Like I just wanna punch her plastic face in. Aubrey if you did do anything, it wouldve come out & it wouldve just given Nicki ammunition to push you away even more. My heart honestly hurts for Aubrey, it can't be easy to hear everything was a mistake, whether she meant it or not. It isn't easy. He loves her so genuinely & right now I'm even confused about how Nicki feels. I can't say that they need a break, because I just feel it will worsen the situation.
WHY does my liddle lambchop have to be the wake up call? Everytime. *cries* like honestly if Nicki had just listen to her mom, there would be none of this. Please let Malaki be okay, please?... He's just a liddle boy. :( I don't even know what else to say about him... Just thinking about what could happen makes me sad. Please let him be okay.
Sorry if my review is kind of lengthy. Great chapter, definitely one of my favorites.
Your writing skill is amazing Koy!
Happy Birthday Love!!
OMG,NO... THIS CANT BE HAPPENING *crying* KOY DO SOMETHING, DONT LET IT BE MORE THAN THIS...
ReplyDeleteOH MY GOD!!!! NOOOOOOOOO KI!! PLZ LET HIM BE OKAYY :'(
ReplyDeleteIt really breaks my heart that Nicki is literally so BLIND and DEAF..confused and dumb tgat she doesnt realize how much she NEEDS him too..like he has done EVERYTHING and more. But she keeps with her insecurities and comparisons..and keeps hurting him..only thing he want to do is LOVE YOU. It's okay her MAIN focus is Malaki's well being..but she can't blocknthe love for Drake..he need to trust him let his heart REST..
HAPPY BIRTHDAY :D xoxoxox
I'm IN LOVE with this story but this was a Sad chapter :'(
I rarely have any words for this chapter smh...just so emotional :'( . I know How Drake is feeling ...Nicki could have told the TRUTH she does know but she's so scared and malaki. Noooo that dream came true. Everything is all bad. I hope it won't stay that way forever there has to be a happy ending :). I loved this chapter btw ...
ReplyDeleteI CRIED READING THIS WHOLE CHAPTER LIKE NO. THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING TO THEM OR THE BABY **ALL TEARS** I cannot I'm done!
ReplyDeleteOMFG Nicki need to stop pushing him away! Now they broke up like wth i cant take this. Oh lord, NOOOOO Malaki gotta be ok.. plz let him be ok, this is what Mama M was feeling! *cries & prays the baby is ok*
ReplyDeleteFirst, *smacks forhead* REALLY NICKI?!!? REALLY?!!!?? Drake had every reason to leave. He's trying to be the good guy and Nicki's being a freaking brat about it. How could you keep ignoring him and not expect him to get sick of it?
ReplyDeleteSecond, Koy, why must you put Ki in danger at every available oppurtinuty? lol every since he was in the womb he has had every card stacked against him.
Can't wait for the next chapter!!!!!
-MzDimpledAngel
LJGS;KLHJDF;LJFSH;LDFJHS;LFJHDF;LHJDF;LSHDFJ;LHFJS;LHFJH;LDSJFFDJF;DD;FHLDFL; Omg. Omg. Omg. Omg. f;aglsg i can't breath LORD HELP ME. lord have MERCY. goodness. gooolly. omosd' i can't even type. i can't evne speak. first of all, AMAZING chapter. second. dsamasdgsod omg, NICKI can't let drake leave like that, like what? How is she gonna push him away & have him think she doesn't care. Omg. What the ACTUALLY FUCK. I don't know why Nic is being so stubborn just believe the boy dang. She knows she cares. I wish she would admit it. Omg, MALAKI. yo i hope he is okay, that would crush them.. this is what Nicki was afraid of :// omg, poor baby. I can't believe it omg, I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER POST SOON, no rush. no worries.
ReplyDeleteMUAHHH.
xoxo
OK well first, HAPPY BIRTHDAYYY! :)
ReplyDeleteNow, this chapter made my heart feel heavy. haha like i could really really feel for drake and im glad he got the courage to tell her off. She's being soooo selfish to not see that he is in so much in love with her. And the fact that she couldnt say i love you back made me want to cry! (haha forreal) I really hope there is nothing seriously wrong with KI because i feel like she is gonna blame it on Drake. Looooorrrrd, you really left us with a cliff hangerrrr!! haha Good chapter though, i really liked the argument scene....weird i know...but whatever. :) @Casey_Vee
ommmmmgggggggggggeeeeeeeeee please post soon I'm dying over here <3!!!!!!!!!-xo
ReplyDeleteOMG!!! I can't even explain to you how much i love this story! Just finished reading all of it, and ahhhhh it's everything!! This is just simply PERFECT. Everything you write feels so realistic, and that's what i love. And as for this chapter, omfg, I can't believe all that happened. Ughh i totally understand Drake... and he's right too! Nicki needs to just stop frontin and let him in, that would just solve everything. I really didn't like what she said to Drake, like seriously, that dude would die for her!!!! Idk, if i was Nicki, i would never let Drake go away from me... and here she is pushing him away, smh. I love Drake so much omg he's the most amazing guy ever! I felt so freakin bad, ughh about to cry. I knew, when he was going to see Ki, something was gonna happen....
ReplyDeleteI hope w.e happened makes them get back together b/c at the end of the day, they're parents first :)
LOVED IT!!! POST SUPER SOOOOON PLEASE <3
WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!!??!??!? UUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK YOU MEAN HE AIN'T BREATHING? !?!??!?!?! >:[ OH MI GOD!!!!!!!!! I'M. Ugh!!! Idek wtf I am! I can't flip out too much cuz I'm sitting in the car with the fam reading this & they're gonna think I'm crazy. But I almost fucking cried Koyoa!!!!! Drizzy blew up! I mean exploded! He had every right to tho cuz Nicki wuz bein STUPID! Like I understand she's like all scared and stuff but she can't keep pushin Drake away! Why didn't she cry?! When she saw him packing his shit, she should have BAWLED!! I mean let it all out! Stop tryna protect yaself Nic! He's not gonna fuckin hurt you! He's Aubrey! He fuckin LOVES you!!! You can't be that "strong" Nicki. Malaki doesn't even kno wtf's goin in btwn you & Auvrey! Like he's not even gonna remember the day his father left. What I'm sayin is you needa stop usin that boy as an excuse! Ki isn't your shield. His name isn't gonna protect you from being hurt. Tellin urself you're jus tryna stay strong for him is only making you feel better! Licking YOUR wounds! Love Aubreeeyy!! You can't be so stubborn as to see him walk out! And you can't blame him for wanting to go either! You did this. I hate to blane you Nic, but it's the truth. You pushed him away and now he's leaving. I kno that's not what you wanted. Open up! Give him a fuxkin chance! The man idolizes you for Christ sake! I can't even begin to tell you how upset I am over this & u're not even real -__-
ReplyDeletePlz plz plz plz plzzzzzz let Ki be ok! Carol & Sandi's dream will NOT come true!! It can't! Plz post soon Koy. I'm on the edge. So scared.
nicki is hardhead. hope ki is okay
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday, Ki.
ReplyDeleteBut omfgggggaaaaawwwd! No! I really pray that he's okay. Yo, Koy, I swear you get me so caught up in these chapters. It's a movie in my head. I get so angry at Nic, and then sometimes at Drake. I'm so proud of him for not holding back and really saying what's on his mind. I just wish Nicki would learn how to open up more. She's gonna lose him if she doesn't. And none of us wanna see that. It broke my heart into pieces when he started packing. After all of that fun they had in Trinidad, how could she just change and say that wasn't real? I honestly think Nic is really just being dramatic. She always said she craved attention from her big brother when she was little, maybe she's acting this way because she wants more attention from Drake. Instead of him just allowing her to be in her little moods. Idk. Speaking of big brothers, lets see more of Jelani. Anywho, I am absolutely in love with this chapter. You pulled every emotion out of me with this one. Bravo sis!
This Chapter's song is Hate that I love You So..just for Drake.....and uhhhhhhhhhhhh I'm not gonna lie that argument was freaking intense and I honestly loved it. It made me feel, as a women, that we SURE AS HELL are difficult. Jeez! I honestly hate that I caught up, lol. Not gonna lie. I hope Ki is okay D: I didn't expect the chapter to end that way...and I feel like maliah is about to make her evil demon self known..crazy ass bitch heathen heffer trick. Um, anyways, I'm going to sit here and poke you until it's updated so... *pokes* *pokes* *pokes* ....
ReplyDeleteKoyoa
ReplyDeleteI'ont care what wordpress or elitecreativity saying, all I know is u the best to ever do dis shit. Remember I said dat.
*drops mic*
You made me cry. This chapter made me cry. I was scared to read this chapter. because i had a feeling something bad was going to happen. At first, i was just trying to explain to myself what was going on, break down the whole situation of Nicki pushing Aubrey away (i actually made a chart and everything) so I didn't finish reading it until yesterday. And i cried. Like, whhhhyyyyyyy????!! Malaki has been through so much. Drake and Nicki have been through so much. This is not what they needed right now. I really hope my baby is okay. Like, please don't let anything be with him. And I hope Nic learns a lesson from this and keeps Aubrey close to her. She needs to realize that she needs him way more than she thinks. Oh! So this means that YOU are coming back in the story! YES!!!!
ReplyDeleteP.S: Nothing better happen to Malaki!
u_u I know this is weeks late, but you have to understand that this chapter made me thoughtless. To say this chapter made me feel so many emotions at once would be an understatement. Not only did it do that, but it was such a rush. Like, as soon as I finished it everything went blank. & at the time I refused to put myself through that again by rereading it. Seriously. I’m just now trying to somewhat put this into words. Smh. Bear with me.
ReplyDeleteWhen Nic ran off to go check on Ki is when my heart sunk. Yesss.. that soon. I’m such a pessimist. Lol. But for good reasons. I just wanted Drake to grab her and force her to have a heart to heart. & after makeup sex is the best time to do that. You’ve shared that amazing high. & it’s just you too with no outside influence to interfere. Ha! Listen to me acting like I know. But honestly, I think it’s a complete waste of time if there’s no attempt at solving whatever you’re making up over. *shrugs*
Thanks a lot Carol. I’m kidding. Even though you can argue she’s part of the problem, Nic’s the one putting up walls like a carpenter.
O.o Drake! Boy that trip was risky. Glad it didn’t go any farther. *wipes forehead*
Now. The argument... -______- Should have been the heart to heart. u_u.. Or at least happened before it was too late. *Sighamese twins* I’m done with them. I hope Ki’s the strong little guy I imagine. I mean, the kid’s just destined for greatness.
KoyKoy.. you. I really feel some type of way.. again. Lol. I apologize if this comment seems pushy. It’s just how I feel. I had to get it out. I don’t even know what to expect in the ones to come, but idc idc idc. All I know is you’re the best and I’ll be “tuned in” until forever. Thank you. Much Love. -@nickisalute
omg where is the new chapter!!!!!!!!1 i need to know if Ki is ok
ReplyDeletewhere are you?! this is the worst cliff hanger!!! Post soon!!!.... Please. lol
ReplyDeleteomg i need a post soon...this cliff hanger is killing me
ReplyDeleteWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW Nicki is just being....*sighs*
ReplyDeleteOmg...please do an update, you have any idea how stressing this is..i dont think i can sleep tonight...pleaseee!!!! update SOON!!l like tomorrow :'(
ReplyDeleteWhen I tell you i stalk this page I really do.
ReplyDeletePlease post soon. Much love.
Gurl imma need you to post soon! I can't wait anymore!! This is probably one of the best things I have EVER read, and I've read A LOT. Pweeeeeaaaase post soon!! This cliffy is fukkin KILLIN meeee!! Pleeeaaase!! Gotta know what will happen to my man Ki and to DRICKI! Post soon barb.
ReplyDelete*waits some more* omggg I'm on the edge!!!!
ReplyDeleteOMG!!!! When is the next chapter out??? I need to know what happens!!!!
ReplyDeleteOmg my gosh ima bout to be in tears
ReplyDelete1: drake went to duh stripclub but he knew he was wrong ( i love him <33333)
2: nicki keeps on snapping and bein a complete bitch not listen to his feeling yet again
3: drakes just so fed up he leaves
4:nicki cares but is 2STUBBORN to show it
5: Drake finds poor Malaki in his crib not breathing
( wonder if the stupid hoe Maliah had anything to do with this smdh)
On the brighter side... Wait Malaki isnt breathing and its his birthday :( im in tears );
I really hope they can work it out but maybe its best if they dont
#TEAMDRICKI today and forever
Girl I saw u talkin bout this on Twitter yesterday!!!! When are we getting an update?! It's been like MONTHS!!
ReplyDelete