FROM THIS MOMENT

OOOOOOOOK SO FIIIIINALLY I HAVE A NEW UPDATE FOR ALL OF YOU. BUT I RLLY WANNA SAY THT YOU GUYS ARE FUCKING AMAZING I LOVE YOU SO VERY MUCH YOU ARE EVERYTHING TO ME. THANK YOU FOR READING MY SHIT & THINKING SO HIGHLY OF IT. YOUR COMMENTS GIVE ME ABSOLUTE LIFE SO PLZ PLZ PLZZZZZZ KEEP THEM COMING. IM TRYIN 2 GET ON A BETTER SCHEDULE FOR POSTING BUT ITS THE END OF THE YEAR WORK HAS PICKED UP & MY KID IS ALMOST DONE WITH SCHOOL SO SHIT GETS CRAZY @ MY HOUSE......BUT I KNO U GUYS KINDA DNT GIVE A FUCK ABT MY PERSONAL LIFE YALL JUS WANNA READ SO YEAH. BUT I JUS WANNA SAY...THE CONTINUOUS WAR BETWEEN DRICKI & ONIKAFAREE IS FUCKIN STUPID. EVERYONE HAD THEIR OWN OPINION & THTS FINE BUT 2 RLLY BE BEEFIN OVER IT IS JUS....IT MAKES ME WANNA NOT WRITE DRICKI ANYMORE CUZ ITS GETTIN OTTA HAND. SRRY. JUS HAD 2 GET THT OFF MY CHEST. AGAIN THANK U ALL I LOVE YOU MORE THAN YOU CAN EVER UNDERSTAND THANK U SO MUCH 2 NICKI & DRAKE FOR BEING MY INSPIRATION. I LOVE THEM SO VERY MUCH. & LASTLY...HAS ANYONE ELSE FELT LIKE LLT IS RLLY HAPPENING RIGHT NOW? LIKE 4REAL. I WAS READIN SAVE ME & I WAS ALL...WAIT...DRAKE & NICKI FIGHT...TOUR...HE AINT BEEN THERE THEN POOF HE JUS POPS UP & THEN THEY ALL GOOD NOW & SHIT. CONSPIRACY I KNO BUT IN THE BACK OF MY MIND I JUST CANT HELP IT. ANYWAY, ENJOY!!!


chapter 43

“Well, his lungs are great. He’s doing the majority of the breathing on his own. His temperature is finally stabilized. He’s losing a little weight but that’s normal. I’d say he’s doing pretty well.”

This was music to their ears. It had been 5 days since Malaki was born & they had all been on pins & needles. After the first time Nicki saw him, he had gotten slightly worse. It had become even more difficult for him to keep a stable temperature & his eye recovery had taken longer than expected. because of this, they had yet to hold their son. Even though it was heartbreaking, they stayed strong. They would do whatever it took to make sure Malaki got better.

 “So…..do you think today is the day?” Drake asked anxiously. Koyoa smiled.

“Today is definitely the day. The nurses are getting him ready as we speak. After the lunch hour is up, you all can head down there. Just make sure no one is wearing any makeup or perfume or anything like that. His skin is very sensitive. I’ll meet you guys down there.” Koyoa stood up from the bed & walked toward the door. Nicki & Drake looked at each other & smiled. She bounced a little on the bed.

“I’m so fuckin excited I can’t stand myself!!! It feels like I’ve been waiting forever!!!” Nicki exclaimed.

“I know what you mean.”

“But I'm scared that once I hold him I won’t let him go.” She sighed.

“It’s gonna be hard I know. But think about it like this, one day were gonna take him home & we can hold him as much as we want.”

“You're right.” She said as she slid off the bed. She walked over & straddled Drake’s lap. She wrapped her arms around his neck & hugged him tightly.

“What’s this for?” he laughed.

“I was afraid this day might not come for us.” She said in a solemn tone. He wrapped his arms around her. He had the same fear himself. The thought of it made him want to cry. But he didn’t want to somber the mood. He picked her up & spun her around.

“What are you doing?!” she giggled.

“I’m tryin to get you excited!!!!! We should be bouncing off the walls right now!!!” he said as he set her down on her feet. “You finish getting ready, I’m gonna go downstairs & wait for everyone to get here.” He kissed her cheek before walking out of the room. He made his way down to the front entrance of the hospital. He needed the fresh air. He hadn’t left the 3^rd floor since Malaki was born. The fresh air felt good against his face. He shoved his hands in his pockets until he saw the black suburban pulling into the roundabout. The door opened & out jumped his mother. He walked over to her & hugged her tightly.

“I can’t believe we finally get to meet him.” she sighed. “My first grandchild. I’m so excited!”

“I know you are.” He laughed. He let her go as 40 walked up to him. He slapped him up. “What’s up man?”

“Nuttin. Ready to see my nephew.” 40 told him. He was a little excited to see Malaki. He didn’t want to say it to Drake but he was a little afraid that this day would come & he wouldn’t be around to see it. He was glad he was wrong. He walked ahead to Sandi & made their way into the hospital.  Drake waited a little bit longer outside the hospital until Safaree arrived with Carol & Micaiah. After Safaree parked the car they all made their way up to Nicki’s room.

“Mommy!” Nicki squealed when her mother walked into the room. She jumped off the bed & ran to her, hugging her tightly. Carol smiled as she held her child.

“It’s an exciting day today. I get to see my first grandson for the 1^st time. God is so good for letting us come to see this day.” It was truly a blessing. After such a traumatic week, they were all thanking a higher power for this day. They all sat around Nicki in her room, waiting for the time to come when they could down to the NICU & see Malaki. Everyone was excited to see him. Even Safaree was happy. Before they knew it, it was time to head down. Nicki & Drake locked fingers as they walked hand in hand, leading the way. When thy got to the door, Koyoa was waiting, a camera in hand.

“Today’s the big day! Bandage is comin off & Malaki is comin out to play! I know it must feel like you’ve been waiting forever. I’m so excited to get you guys in here so here’s what we’re gonna do. Me, Nick & Drake will go in 1^st, get suited up then you guys can come. Everyone can’t stay long. There’s a lot of you guys & we need the space for the nurses to move around & tent to the other babies. We’ve got about an hour.” Everyone nodded in understanding before Drake Koyoa & Nicki disappeared behind the door. They got suited up & headed to where Malaki was. Maria was standing there, smiling.

“Are you guys ready?” she asked, excited. Drake & Nicki looked at each other, then at Malaki. They nodded. Maria almost jumped as she opened the incubator. “Oh my goodness, it’s like opening a Christmas present!!!!” she squealed as she reached for the bandage on his eyes. She pulled the tape back slowly. Malaki twitched a little. Maria tried to work as fast as she could without hurting him. once she had the tape off she pealed back the bandage. Nicki smiled as she watched his little eyelashes flutter. Drake chuckled.

“What’s so funny?” Nicki asked.

“I guess your mother’s prayers went unanswered. He DEFINATLY has my ears.” He said pointing to Malaki. Everyone looked at him & couldn’t help but laugh.

“He looks like that little mouse, Desperaux! His ears are so big but he’s soooooo cute!!!!!!!!” Maria laughed.

“Leave my baby alone. He’s cute with his big ears!” Nicki said as she laughed.

“Do you wanna hold him now, sugar?” Koyoa asked. Nicki nodded her head. She sat down & made herself comfortable in the rocking chair beside the incubator. She adjusted her 5-button tank top & held her arms out for him. Koyoa walked over & bent down in front of Nicki & began unbuttoning her shirt.

“What are you, doing? Not in front of the baby!” Nicki said playfully as she stroked Koyoa’s hair. She rolled her eyes.

“Skin to skin contact works best. Let him feel your heartbeat it’ll make him more comfortable.” Koyoa told her. She stood back up & walked over to the incubator & gently picked Malaki up. “Hey, man-man, you ready to see your mommy for the first time?” she walked over to the other side of the incubator & placed him in Nicki’s arms.

“He feels so…..real now. He’s his own little person.” She said as she gazed at him. She stroked his bushy little eyebrows with her fingertip. Stroked his soft curly hair. She barely noticed that Koyoa was snapping pictures. She unwrapped him from his blanket & stared at his little heart beating. There was so much life pumping through him. With every beat he was more alive, more real to her. He began 2 feel uncomfortable with the warmth of his blanket gone. He started kicking about, & flailing his arms in the air.

“Somebody’s angry.” Drake said as he watched him try 2 nudge the oxygen mask from his face. “He got your temper already. Shame.” He said shaking his head.

“No, don’t do that baby.” She cooed as she pulled his hand away from his face. Malaki began to cry. “Awwww, what’s wrong?! No, don’t cry!” she said pouting. She had never heard him cry before so it was a little shocking.

“It’s ok. Remember what I told you. Lay him on your chest. He should be fine.” Koyoa told her. Nicki did so. She winced as his nails clawed at her skin as he got comfortable. Before long, he was settled in her bosom. She sat back in the rocker, content. She closed her eyes& felt the moment. Burned it into her memory. She loved that baby smell. She put her nose to the top of his head & breathed him in. just then the rest of their family walked in.

“Oh Nicki. You are a vision. You were made for this.” Sandi gasped. She walked over to her, her hands over her mouth in shock. “Look at him. He is just so precious. Can I touch him?”

“Of course you can.” Nicki laughed. Sandi smoothed the side of his face & began to cry.

“What’s wrong, ma?” Drake asked.

“I just……..i can’t believe it. He’s so…” she was too choked up to continue. She caressed Nicki’s face & kissed her cheek. She stepped away & grabbed her son’s hand.

“I know, ma. I know.” He said as he hugged her. Carol took the position next to her daughter. She stroked Malaki’s soft hair.

“He is so beautiful.” She said. “Even with his father’s ears. I can’t believe this came from you. That my baby girl has a baby.” Everyone just stared at Nicki holding the tiny child. It was a joyous yet sobering occasion. All of them reflected in Malaki’s traumatic entrance into the world. There wasn’t 1 person in the room that wasn’t counting their blessings.

“Nicki.” Koyoa said softly. “Malaki is sleeping & we only have a few more minutes.”

“Well, I need a moment with my mom anyway. You guys stay here. We’ll come back in a little bit.” Drake told them. He, Sandi & 40 exited the room. Safaree & Carol stayed behind with Nicki. Out the corner of her leye she caught Safaree staring at her. She looked over at him.

“What?” she asked.

“Nuttin.” He said, shaking his head.

“Somethin!” He took a deep breath.

“It’s just crazy seein you like this. Like…..a mom. You’re so different now.”

“How am I different? I'm still me.”

“I know that. You're just a different you. A more…relaxed you. Like, I could never picture you as a mom. But now that I see you, holdin him, it’s like you were born to do this. I don’t know.”

“I guess you're right. Ever since I've had him, I just feel like, like he's the best thing that ever happened to me. I'm always so happy around him. This little boy is my life. I never thought I could love someone more than I love you guys. You know, my mom, you, Drake, but then he came. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for him. He just….completes me.”  The way she spoke about him made Safaree believe she was in fact truly happy. He looked at the child who resembled her so much & couldn’t help but smile. He was cute, cuddled up on his mother’s chest. Safaree felt something he couldn’t explain wash over him. The more he looked at him, the more he felt a protectiveness over him. He didn’t know why he felt it but he didn’t question it. He ran his hand down the back of his head, smoothing down his soft locks. His whole body felt warm when he came in contact with the child. Malaki sighed as Safaree stroked his hair. Safaree couldn’t help but smile. “Guess you’re not the only 1 he makes feel relaxed.” They spent a few more minutes just watching him before Drake came back in the room.

“Hey,” he said to Nicki. “My mom & 40 have to go soon. Their flight leaves at 9.”

“Oh no! I don’t want you guys to leave.” Nicki said grabbing Sandi’s hand.

“I wish I could stay longer but I have a few appointments to attend but I will be back soon I promise.”

“Oooooh well do you wanna hold him?” Nicki asked. She looked to Koyoa. “I mean is that ok? Do we have time?”

“We have about 15 minutes.” Koyoa told them.

“Oh no sweetie I really don’t think I can handle it. But I do want to see my son hold his son for the 1^st time. I need lots of pictures so I can show bubby when I get back to Toronto. You know she misses you terribly Aubrey.” Drake missed his grandmother dearly & he felt bad that he didn’t make an effort to see her as often as he should. He knew a picture of him with his son would certainly brighten her day.

“Well, c’mon babe. Get in the chair. I know you don’t have a lot of time.” Nicki said excited as stood up from the chair, holding the baby. Drake ran his hands down his pants as he sat. He held his arms out for the child. Nicki placed him in his arms. Drake held the child away from him. He nearly fit in the palm of his hand. He bent his head down & kissed Malaki’s head.

“Hey lil man. What’s up? I’m your daddy. But you probably already know that. I’m sure you recognize my voice. I talk a lot, I know.” The child squirmed in Drake’s grasp. “Thaaaat’s right. Wake up sleepy head. Let me see those eyes.”

“You haven’t seen his eyes yet?” Sandi asked.

“Nope. He just got his bandages off today.”

“Oh wow. I wonder what they look like.”

“Well maybe we’ll find out. Malaki, hey. You gonna open your eyes for me man?” his eyes flutter & Drake caught a glimpse of his light irises. “Woah.”

“What is it?” Nicki asked.

“His eyes. They're so….you gotta see it. C’mon man. Open your eyes.” Malaki fluttered his long sweeping eyelashes again. A pin drop could be heard around the room when he opened his eyes. The stunning gold in the middle of his irises spread out like rays of sunlight into the dazzling grey-blue that deepened as it reached the outer circle of his eye. They were as deep as an ocean & as blue as fresh glacial waters. They couldn’t believe it. They were unbelievable. The shutter on Koyoa’s camera hadn’t stopped moving since she first handed the child off, but now everyone had their phones out taking pictures of this miraculous phenomenon.

“This little nigga right here is gonna break some hearts in a major way.” Said SB.

“Are yall sure this is the right baby. I mean, it looks like my son but…..wow.” Drake said astonished. He couldn’t believe the brilliance, the depth.

“I can’t believe he has your mother’s eyes. That’s amazing.” Nicki said in awe. Drake looked down at the child with love in his eyes, smiling. Malaki looked up at him with such wonder & curiosity. But one thing that Drake thought he would see, wasn’t there & he was glad. Fear. If anything he looked, relaxed, calm, assured. Like he knew that nothing could harm him as long as he was in his father’s arms. And Drake knew he would do whatever it took to make sure that that was always true.