INTERLUDE

OK SO I THOUGHT IT'D BE NICE TO WRITE A LIL SOMETHIN ABT HOW DRAKE WAS FEELING SINCE THE LAST FEW CHAPTERS WERE REALLY ABOUT NICKI. HOPE YOU LIKE IT.NEW CHAPTERS WIL COME SOON BUT IVE IMPLIMENTED SOME CHANGES TO THE STORYLINE SO I HAVE 2 FIGURE SOME THINGS OUT. ANYWAY, ENJOY!!!

“Can I go & see her yet?”

“I’m sorry no. She’s not awake. The doctors are still in there with her. I’m not even supposed to be out here talking to you but I know you all are worried about her. I really wish I could tell you more but I just don’t know. I’m so sorry. When I know more I promise I will come & fill you in.” he ran his hands down his face as he sighed heavily. It was all so stressful. He stood up from leaning on the wall. He walked down the hall, away from Maria, to the purple door where just on the other side he heard his mother talking. He wanted nothing more than to run into that room & fall into her arms just as he often would as a child but he didn’t want to interrupt. Instead he listened intently to the conversation she was having.

“…..just don’t understand what happened. When I left last week she was fine. Now she’s unconscious & I don’t know what will happen.” Sandi was crying. She had always loved Nicki & looked at her as a daughter to her. Ever since the very first time they met she felt an instant connection to her. He knew she was hurting just as much as he was that all of this was happening.

“This is….this is just horrible. She’s such a sweet girl. A sweet damn girl.”

“I just don’t understand.” It was silent for a moment.

“I-is the baby ok?”

“We don’t know yet.”

“GOD.”  The man on the phone said with a sigh. “How’s Aubrey holdin’ up?”

“Oh I don’t know Dennis. He’s so distraught. I know he’s trying hard to hold it together but he’s hurting deeply. I just don’t know what to do for him. I wish you would talk to him.” His father. He never really realized how big of a role he played in his life until this moment. Now that he was a father he understood just how serious his job was to be there for his child. He wanted to talk to him. He wanted him to be there for him. To comfort him. To play his position & support him.

“What do you want me to do, Sandi? I’m all the way Tennessee.” Drake’s blood began to boil as he heard his father’s voice raise an octave. No one should ever raise their voice to her. Especially, not him.

“I don’t know, Dennis. You’re his father. He needs you right now. He needs all the support he can get. I’m sure getting you up here won’t be a problem.”

“The boy barely talks to me now as it is. What the hell can I do for him other than be in the way? He’s a man, he can handle it. That’s what your problem. You always tryin’ to baby that boy. He aint no damn baby. Hell, he got a baby, now! Let him stand on his own two feet. Let him be a MAN!”

“He is a man, Dennis! But even men need their parents sometimes. He needs you to be there for him!!!”

“Why, when he got you?! You are all he needs, as you’ve made so clear for all these all these years. Don’t ask me to do it now. That’s your job.”

“Dammit, Dennis!!! I never ask you for anything! All these years, I’ve never asked you for anything! But right now, when he needs you, I am asking you to be here. For your son. For your grandson. I can’t do this by myself. HE NEEDS YOUR SUPPORT. So for once in these 25 years, be a FATHER!!!” her breathing was heavy. She never raised her voice. It Drake to her her this way. All his woes were forgotten for that moment as he walked into the room. she quickly swiped her tears away & half smiled, trying her best to be strong for him, as she always did. “Did you find anything out, baby?” she asked him, her voice hopeful.

“The doctors are still in there with her. Maria snuck out to let me know that much. But that’s all she knows.”

“Well at least we know they’re trying their best. That’s all we can hope for.” He took a seat on the desk in the far corner of the room. Sandi walked over to him & grabbed his hand.

“It’s gonna be ok honey. We’ll get through this.” He pulled her into a hug, holding her tight. He rested his chin on the top of her head. Even though he was almost twice her size, she led him as if he were still a child. He adored the fact that she was trying to be there for him but he wanted nothing more than to be there for her. He knew she needed some comfort right now. Tears rolled down his cheeks as he kissed her golden hair. He was shaking. Out of anger, frustration, sadness, fear, he couldn’t choose just 1 emotion. “Have you heard anything about Malaki?”

“Not yet.”

“Why don’t you head down there? I’m sure he would like to have his daddy there for him.” She pulled back & smiled at him. He looked away.

“I don’t know ma. I wanna make sure Nicki is ok, first.”

“Aubrey I’m sure she’ll be fine. Her family is here. But he needs at least 1 parent to be there for him. Besides, I’m sure it would be wonderful news to Nicki to hear about how he’s doing when she’s well enough.” He knew she was right. Nicki would want to know what was going on with Malaki. He just didn’t know if he was ready to face this alone. He was scared. He felt so unprepared for this. But he had to do what he had to do. He took a deep breath before kissing her cheek.

“I’ll come back & tell you how he is.” He said as he stood up. He pulled up his pants, as they were slightly sagging, & made his way to the NICU. It looked so dark inside. He couldn’t see past the blackout shades. He tried the door but it was locked. He looked around until he noticed the call button. He pressed it.

“Yes, may I help you?”

“I was wondering if someone could tell me about my son. Malaki Graham.” He said as he cleared his throat. There was silence for a moment. Before long, slender woman with brown hair & Christmas scrubs came & opened the door, letting him in.

“Hi. I’m lauren. I’m malaki’s nurse for this shift.” She shook his hand. “Koyoa asked if you wanted to wait for her before you went in there. You don’t have to, she just thought you might want to. I just got here so I can’t really tell you what’s going on with him. She would know.”

“Yeah, I think I’ll wait.” He said. He wasn’t exactly comfortable with going in there alone. It would be nice to have at least 1 familiar face in there.

“Ok. Well, while you're waiting, you can um, wash your hands, & put on a gown so that way when she get’s here, you can go right in.” he washed his hands, put on the gown & stood on the wall, waiting for Koyoa to come for him. It wasn’t long before she came in. she washed her hands quickly & got suited up.

“How you holing up baby?” she said as she tied the back of her gown.

“I don’t know.” He shrugged. She half smiled at him.

“I can’t even imagine what you're feeling right now. I’m sorry baby. I know this must be hard.” She said in an effort to comfort him. “Are you ready?” he took a deep breath. He wasn’t ready, but he knew he probably never would be. He nodded & followed her around the corner where all of the incubators were. He saw lauren standing over an open incubator. He looked down & froze.

“That’s my son.” He spoke, stating more than asking. His heart was breaking as he watched him flail his arms around. His mouth wide, gums exposed as a voice so powerful, yet so tiny escaped him. “Why is he crying?”

“I’m trying to get an IV going but he’s fighting me. I’ve poked him about 5 times now.” Lauren said with a frown. Drake looked at the side of the incubator & saw piles of blood stained gauze. His heart began beating faster. He was hurting. he was fighting the urge to pick Malaki up & run away with him. But he knew he couldn’t do that. He needed to be here. He walked over to him & ran his fingertip against his tiny cheek.

“Hey lil’ man, don’t cry.” He said as he bent down, his eyes level with him. The moment he opened his mouth, the crying stopped. Malaki moved his tiny head around, searching for the source.

“He knows his daddy.” Koyoa giggled.

“Does he have to have that thing on his eyes? I want him to see me.”

“His eyes have a lot more healing to do.” Drake huffed loudly. Koyoa looked at him sympathetically. “But he’s here. He’s alive & he can hear you. Focus on the small miracles, baby.” She patted him on the shoulder. He dragged his palms over his face.

“You’re right.” He said. He sunk down in the rocker. He looked at Malaki intently. Lauren held his arm & wiped it with an alcohol pad. She opened a sterile pack that held a needle that looked entirely too big to fit in any vein of his. She slipped the needle into his tiny vein & he began to cry.

“Oh, sweetie please be still. I don’t wanna have to do this again.” Lauren pleaded. Drake bit his knuckle as he watched the small child struggle. It was heartbreaking to see. After the needle was in & the foam board was affixed to his arm, she began clearing out the incubator of all the excess gauze. He moved closer to him, placing his free hand through the side port.

“Malaki, hey, hey man. Don’t cry, daddy’s here. I’m right here.” He cooed. He was astonished at the fact that his son could quite literally fit in the palm of his hand. He was so small. It was a scary sight. He couldn’t believe this was his son. He stroked his soft hair & after, let his hand rest by the side of his face. The child settled down, snuggling close to Drake’s warm hand. Once he was comfortable, he smiled contently, 1 dimple exposed. He looked just like his mother. His cheeks, his nose, his lips. All her. He let a single tear slide down his cheek. He covered his face with his hand.

“What’s wrong Drake?” Koyoa asked him softly.

“This is not how this is suppose to be. We’re not supposed to be here. Not like this.”

“I know honey but this is something that’s out of your control.”

“No. I should have never left her. Why did I leave her there? What the hell was I thinkin?”

“Drake listen, you cant beat yourself up over this. If something was gonna happen to Nicki, you couldn’t stop it. God has a plan. Believe me when I tell you this.”

“Well I wanna know what the fuck it is. What the hell would make him think it was ok to put me through this. To put her through this. To put him through this. Is it me? Is it something I did? If so, it’s my burden to bear, not theirs. I just don’t understand. I do my best to stay humble & live right. I really do. Nicki….she’s never hurt anyone. She’s so loving. Such a beautiful person. Why did this have to happen to her? Now I have this kid, this beautiful fuckin kid that looks just like her, that she may never see. How could I do this alone? How could I look at this baby everyday & see her nose, her smile that I love so much. He’ll probably laugh like her. And cry like her. And breath like her. How could I do this without that woman that I love with all my heart? What if I lose both of them? How could I go on with my life without them? I love them both so much i don’t think my heart cold take it.” He looked up at Koyoa, tears in his eyes. His soul was pleading for answers. Answers she couldn’t give him.

“I don’t know, baby. I wish I had the answers for you. I wish I could tell you that everything is gonna be ok. But I don’t know. I simply don’t know. I’m sorry. “ she bent down & hugged his shoulders.

“I’m always tryin to be strong for her but this time, I don’t know if I can be.”

“I know. But that’s ok. All we can do is pray.”