HOW TO SAVE A LIFE

SOOOOO AFTER A LONG DAY OF MEMORIAL DAY FUN (LOOKING AT GIRLS IN BIKINIS, SPRAYING LITTLE KIDS WITH WATER GUNS UNTIL THEY CRIED) IM HOME. I'VE JUST FINISHED READING MY THIRD SARAH DESSEN BOOK IN LESS THAN A MONTH (SHE IS SO FREAKING AMAZING. SHES MY MUSE) & STEPH IS ALWAYS MAKING ME FEEL LIKE A HORRIBLE PERSON FOR NOT POSTING (JUST PLAYING. LOVE U STEPH...NOT RLLY. LMAO) SO IVE DECIDED TO PUT A DAMPER ON UR HOLIDAY FUN WITH THIS CHAPTER. ENJOY!




chapter 47

“I just can’t believe this is happening to us.”

“I know. But be glad you get to take 1 of your babies’ home.”

“I know & I thank God for that, but it’s just…I can’t even put it into words. And you! This just isn’t fair! You went through so much with his birth & he was supposed to come home! How can he just get taken away from you like this?”

“I keep trying to come up with answers in my head but I can’t. I just don’t understand. Like, why is God doing this to me?”

The two women cried to each other. They couldn’t believe the incredible challenge ahead of them. Their families were devastated. No one could even think of what to say. Neither Drake nor Nicki had left Malaki’s side since the incident while Shanell had done little more than look at her twins. She couldn’t bare knowing that one of them wouldn’t be coming home with her. She lay in her hospital bed crying & the only person she wanted to talk to was Nicki. But part of her was crushed because while she was hurting herself, she was devastated that Nicki & Drake’s only child would be taken from them when they did nothing wrong. Whereas she had made so many mistakes & was still allowed to bring at least one of her children home with her. It just didn’t seem fair.

It was late Thursday evening & a short blond haired woman knocked on Shanell’s door.

“Come in.’ she croaked.

“Hello Shanell, my name is Marlo, I'm with the organ donor’s society. I know this is a very difficult time for you but I was wondering if you would like to discuss donating…”

Shanell turned around slowly & gave the woman a deathly glare.

“Lady, my son aint even dead yet & you have the NERVE to wanna talk about organ donation? Damn, can he die first?! Don’t you have any compassion?!!!” the woman was scared.

“I'm sorry ma’am, but I…I just wanted to jet you know-“

“That you wanna harvest my sons organs & we aint even pulled the plug on him yet.” Just then, Wayne entered the room.

“Who the fuck are you?”

“My name is Marlo from the organ donors soci-“

“ORGAN donor?” he interjected. “Bitch, aint nobody donatin no fuckin organs! Get the fuck otta here!!!” the woman quickly got up & scurried out of the room. He sat next to Shanell. “You ok?”

“Yeah. I just need to sleep. Be alone.” She told him.

“Alright.” he said standing back up. He left the room, leaving Shanell to her thoughts.

“Where’s  Malaki? Where is he?!” Nicki said with a blanket over her face. She pulled it down quickly. “There he is!” Malaki giggled. Nicki sighed. His smile was infectious. She couldn’t believe that after tomorrow, she may not ever see this smile again. She looked over at the table next to his crib & picked up the tiny black pager. Still nothing. Koyoa said that if a donor heart became available, the pager would go off. They had only 16 hours left but she refused to give up hope. She remained diligent at Malaki’s side. Drake wasn’t far away but this evening he was picking up his mother form the airport. They wanted both of their families there in the event that they would have to make funeral arrangements which was looking more likely with every second that passed. She stared at him as he was memorized by the mobile above him. She wanted to memorize every feature of him. He had 3 freckles on the left side of his clavicle. He had a widow’s peak hairline. His locks were going from blonde to brown more & more every day. The color of his eyes intensified whenever his mood changed to a deep grey that looked like liquid mercury or a deep cerulean blue. He was fascinated by lights & sounds. So curious. He sucked his little fist whenever he was hungry. He always babbled at the right times, like he could actually converse with you. The more she remembered, the more she wanted to forget. She didn’t know how she would ever come to terms with the fact that he may no longer be a part of her life in a matter of hours. He slowly drifted off to sleep as “Brahms lullaby” played. And while she was glad he was peacefully resting, she could only think about the fact that she may never see those eyes open again.

“There’s really no reason to keep him on life support. If everyone has said their goodbyes, honey…” Shanell stroked the child’s cheek.

“Is it gonna hurt him?” she asked.

“No. he won’t feel any pain.”

“And you’re SURE there’s no way you can fix it?”

“We’ve run every test 3 times just to be sure. If there was something we could do, we would do it honey. I promise.”

“So what’s gonna happen now?”

“You sure you wanna know?”

“Please.”

“Well, when I flip this switch, it will cut off the ventilator. This will stop the machine that breathed for him & his body will shut down. It may take up to an hour for the process to complete.” Shanell wiped her tears before bending down to kiss her baby. She turned around & headed for the door. She walked & walked…& walked.

“Goodnight comb & goodnight brush. Goodnight nobody. Goodnight mush.” Drake read softly. The lights were dim & shadows of cut out moons & stars shifted across the walls. The sun had long set & a sleepy Malaki lay entranced by his father’s voice. His blanket in his grasp. The side rail of the crib was down & Nicki was rubbing soft circles on his back. “Goodnight stars. Goodnight air. Goodnight noises……..everywhere.” he closed the book & placed it on the table. Malaki was snoring softly. They both bent in & kissed his head. They walked out into the hall & hugged each other tightly.

“I can’t believe this is happening.” Nicki said just barely above a whisper.

“I know baby.”

“I don’t wanna give up.”

“We won’t.”

“We have a few more hours. There has to be something. Do you mind if I-“

“No. Go ahead. I know it helps you. I’ll have them call the chapel if something changes.” They kissed before she headed down the corridor the hospital chapel. Drake walked down the hall to the small sitting area & looked out at the night sky. He banged his fist against the window in frustration. He put his head against the cool glass & closed his eyes. “It can’t end this way.” His mind was on his son who was lying in bed, stirring gently because of the quiet beep, beep, beep, from his bedside table.

p.s. if you havent heard the titled song by the frey ur missing out on life. its amazing...